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WASHED UP CELEBS

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Salvador

I was unaware he made a bunch of T.V. performances

Monday, December 15, 2008

R.I.P Bettie Page

a pioneer of S+M and fucked up looking bangs,

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Friday, November 28, 2008

Because its free

the aftermath of the rodney king verdict. Id expect to see more of the same as the economy collapses even further. Viva la revolucion

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Who's is that?

Lets play the game feared by voyeurs everywhere who's in that tree?

Jeremy Fish

Monday, November 17, 2008

For Boozin and charles

saw this out at salmon over the weekend. Too big of a fag to try but..

Sunday, November 16, 2008

this box dont hold my shit right

had to put em up. fucking otter pops.

no yuppie shit. no dot com

jibber jabber on...jibber jabber on

This one is an olde but never seems to get old and Hastajackoff's post "as your child watches on" got me thinking about it. Or at least the section at 5:35.



as you can tell from your face Im Highly motivated.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Matt Barnes, holy shit!



AND




and he just did the same shit about 15 minutes ago!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Shirley Ellis. The shit

the monkey got choked and they all went to heaven in a little row boat

david david bo bavid

sooner or later baby heres the diddy

Thursday, November 6, 2008

new pres is a baller baby



maybe the warriors should try him at the point

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008

Nickelback vs. Nickelback

spoiler alert: Nickelback loses.




and this guy has some serious gems:

Sunday, October 26, 2008

David

take a crap outside.

Hastajakoff: 1
nature: 0

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Sunday, October 5, 2008

PEHDTSKJMBA

people envy happiness...dogs though sense courage knowing jubilation means better assssssets

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

fuck work

im on break at work right now, and yea...this is hella weak.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Funkdafied

freshly inspired from (not just) knee deep...i set out to get funked up....and came across this...you just dont see this level of theatrics at shows anymore.


played out



...like an osh kosh jumpsuit...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

(not just) knee deep

she was totally deep
when she did the freak with me.



live on letterman, 1991.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

michael jackson

goddammit..ive been busy as PISS with work n shit...i keep trying to tell my boss that america dont wann see boozin work, america wants to see me LIVE..nevermind. here's a clip of michael jackson from the thriller days, droppin the moonwalk on heads that were not ready...

Monday, August 25, 2008

45 mo days till SHARKS season

so I don't know about anyone else but I'm getting pretty damn excited about the 08/09 season...I originally set out to find a video of Shelly throwing down...but when I came across this video of Clowe I couldn't pass it up....be sure to watch for the uppercut toward the end of the fight.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

monkey madness

shiiiit...i think monkey week is beginning to to take on a life of its own. i find myself hunched over the computer screen, frantically absorbing every video of the "monkey-related" variety that i can get my hands on. truly mind-numbingly retarded humor, yet i am drawn to it. just the possibility of catching a shaky thirty second clip of a monkey smoking cigarettes, or perhaps dressing in a hoodie and skating a halfpipe is too much. it calls to me. and in that spirit, i finna roll out some new clips fresh from the internet archives. peep game on the little chimp rolling around on the motorcycle..shit is deep.


Karate Monkey

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

waist deep in monkey week



as the week moves on the monkeeees move in...

Monday, August 18, 2008

"only a monkey can show you that kind of love and tenderness"



We are pressing forward headlong into MONKEY WEEK with a clip for chappelle's "for what its worth" standup. im gonna be honest, im downright excited about MONKEY WEEK. just the thought of all those ten second youtube videos of monkeys throwing shit, pissing on themselves, or jerking off..its that high brow humor that we like to promote here..

monkeys

Im not sure why, but ive been stumbling across (and by stumbling across, i mean actively seeking out) a lot of weird youtube videos of monkeys doing fucked up shit...so i thought, what the fuck, nobody looks at this goddamn blog anyway, why not declare it MONKEY WEEK here on washed up celebs. i have no doubt that we will discover a missing link somewhere hidden amongst the shit throwing and tree swinging. plus, their human-like characteristics make anything a monkey does hella funny.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Biggie Smalls Week continues

"I'm sewing tigers on my shirt, and alligators, you wanna see the inside, I'll see you later"

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Sparkling Wiggles

im not sure how i feel about this, but damn...

Chris Berman on...drug smuggling

Fuck Mark David Chapman



John Lennon's killer denied parole for fifth time

Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:21pm EDT

By Michelle Nichols

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Mark David Chapman, imprisoned for murdering former Beatle John Lennon in New York nearly 28 years ago, has been denied parole for a fifth time, state authorities said on Tuesday.

The New York State Division of Parole said in a statement that the 53-year-old's request for parole was denied "due to concern for the public safety and welfare."

Chapman is serving a sentence of 20 years to life for shooting and killing Lennon as he and his wife, Yoko Ono, arrived at their apartment building on December 8, 1980.

Ono was not immediately available for comment on Chapman's parole denial.

The board noted that Chapman's disciplinary record had been clean since October 1994, but that during his parole interview, he stated that he planned and executed "the premeditated slaying of John Lennon with an essentially clear mind."

"Your conduct thus precipitated a horrendously tragic event which has impacted many individuals," the board said. "Your discretionary release at this time would thus not be compatible with the welfare of society at large, and would tend to deprecate the seriousness of the instant offense, and undermine respect for the law."

Heather Groll, spokeswoman for the New York State Division of Parole, said the board received a petition with about 1,100 signatures and about 50 letters opposing Chapman's release and three letters supporting his release.

Chapman, who is behind bars at Attica prison near Rochester, New York, was also denied parole in 2000, 2002, 2004 and 2006. He may apply for parole again in 2010.

Erik Kriss, spokesman for the New York State Department of Correctional Services, told Reuters that Chapman was being held in a special isolated housing unit away from the general prison population because of fears for his safety.

Chapman has a certificate in legal research and helps other inmates with research in a small law library separate from the main prison library, Kriss said. He also works as a porter and cleans some administrative areas.

Kriss said Chapman has also been part of the prison's "family reunion" program, which has allowed him conjugal visits with his wife for the past 16 years.

Machine Gun Funk



So you wanna be hardcore
With your hat to the back, talkin bout the gats in your raps
But I can't feel that hardcore appeal
that you're screamin, baby I'm dreamin
This ain't Christopher Williams, still some
MC's got to feel one, caps I got to peel some
To let niggaz know... that if you fuck with Big-and-Heavy
I get up in that ass like a wedgie
Says who? Says me, the lyrical
Niggaz sayin, "Biggie off the street, it's a miracle"
Left the drugs alone, took the thugs along with me
Just for niggaz actin shifty
Sticks and stones break bones, but the gat'll kill you quicker
Especially when I'm drunk off the liquor
Smokin funk by the boxes, packin glocks is
natural to eat you niggaz like chocolates
The funk baby

"I live for the funk, I'll die for the funk"

All I want is bitches, big booty bitches
Used to sell crack, so I could stack my riches
Now I pack gats, to stop all the snitches
from stayin in my business, what is this? Relentless
approach, to know if I'm broke or not
Just cause I joke and smoke a lot
Don't mean I don't tote the glock
Sixteen shots for my niggaz in the pen
Until we motherfuckin meet again
Huh, I'm doin rhymes now, fuck the crimes now
Come on the ave, I'm real hard to find now
Cause I'm knee deep in the beats
In the Land Cruiser Jeep with the Mac-10 by the seats
For the jackers, the jealous ass crackers in the (car sirens)
I'll make you prove that it's bulletproof
Hold ya head, cause when you hit the bricks
I got gin, mad blunts, and bitches suckin dick
The funk baby

[Repeat chorus]

So I guess you know the story, the rap-side, crack-side
How I smoked funk, smacked bitches on the backside
Bed-Stuy, the place where my head rests
Fifty shot clip if a nigga wan' test
The rocket launcher, Biggie stomped ya
High as a motherfuckin helicopter
That's why I pack a nina, fuck a misdeameanor
Beatin motherfuckers like Ike beat Tina
(What's Love, Got to Do)
when I'm rippin all through your whole crew
Strapped like bamboo, but I don't sling guns
I got bags of funk, and it's sellin by the tons
Niggaz wanna know, how I live the mack life
Making money smoking mics like crack pipes
It's type simple and plain to maintain
I add a little funk to the brain
The funk baby

[Repeat chorus]

Frank White

Its the beginning of BIGGIE SMALLS week here on washed up celebs! Christopher George Latore Wallace aka Notorious B.I.G aka Frank White aka Big Papa circa hella long ago, laying down a freestyle in Brooklyn. RIP 1972-1997

Monday, August 11, 2008

Boo Nigga!!!

Like they say "You can take the nigga out the hood but you cant take the hood out the nigga"
...Real talk

deer prudence

Friday, August 8, 2008

1,2, kurthustlemyshoe
WE will begin with what I know...
These days it takes two weeks of straight rain in order to force and recognize my insanity.  With the rate that the drops fall I can drown in my ancestors shoes in less than 6 minutes flat.  My predecessors will soon have gills. I know that when strangers look at me with eyes that assume the slightest idea of what I am, it happens again... The deer in headlights.  This is not the only recurring theme in the screenplay I cannot escape.  It is the analepsis, prolepsis, and ellipses rolled into a clusterfuck so solid I piss blood. I am also having them again. The dreams. The dreams that start as such and become nightmares when the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention like an alarm clock telling me I am alive again. The dreams consist of a far away destination. So be it somewhere tropical, with beautiful women that are not from this life. (This is what I figure might be labeled beautiful). The setting is vaguely near the ocean, near something that seems uncomfortably familiar, naked and alien. 
They alienate me.
Worst of all, I now know why I have them. It is a subconscious regurgitation of my unfulfilled desire to leave and my presently indiscrete condemnation. We will discuss that later. The dreams are how my portals to reality deal with the mundane and monotonous. It is a purging of the parasite that eats me from inside my deteriorating organs.  The bug that at some undetermined moment crawled under my skin and frequently forces me to remember it exists when I get that plasticky feeling.  
The plastic.
Inescapable.
This planet feels like a plastic bag zip-tied over my head.  I cannot escape the smell of plasic, ceaselessly smothering me; and I KNOW my grains of sand are scarce.  I count my breathes. This is why I smoke: I can actually see my own breathes escaping and am able to count them easier.  Each time I see life leaving me in smoke clouds, I mutter under my breathe, 
"It hasn't happened yet. Chalk one up the bolatician."
I chuckle bitterly in a cough.  Blood intertwined with pieces of my burlap throat and lung butter.  I spread it out on the cement like toast.  
I spell out -save yourself-
It's been a long winter.
to be continued...
-kurt hustle the insomniac bolatician


Still haven't slept yet.

knocked out


ill never forget the first time i stumbled across this clip on you tube some 3 years ago. i still laugh every time. pay close attention around the 2:06 mark...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

bear falls out of tree onto trampoline

an oldie but a goodie...

forehead tats













Floyd Bebee, a father of eight, said that he has a tattoo on the back of his head reading "Got-R-Did." The ink on his forehead cost $125 and took about 45 minutes to complete, Bebee said, adding that he was the family trendsetter when it it came to such head art. Bebee, who does odd jobs like home remodeling and demolition, said that his wife had a succinct response to his forehead ink: "You crazy," she said. Bebee noted that since his son’s eyes are open in his mug shot, the photo does not reveal a hidden surprise: Justin has the words "Fuck" and "You" tattooed on his eyelids.

whoa





Children see man decapitate fellow passenger on Greyhound bus in Canada

It came out of nowhere, passengers on the Canadian Greyhound bus said. A young man was sleeping, head against the window, when the man sitting next to him began stabbing and then decapitating him as other travellers looked on in horror.

The grisly and apparently random evening attack, on a bus bound for Winnipeg, ended with police apprehending the assailant hours later.

The 37 passengers who witnessed the carnage, including several children, were left to relay their shocking tale of the man wearing sunglasses who suddenly pulled out a hunting knife.

"We heard this blood-curdling scream and turned around, and the guy was standing up, stabbing this guy sitting next to him repeatedly, like 40 or 50 times," passenger Garnet Caton told the Canadian press.

"When he was attacking him, he was calm - it was like he was at the beach," added Caton, who was sitting in front of the victim. "There was no rage or anything. He was just like a robot stabbing the guy."

The terrified passengers fled immediately, taking shelter along the side of the road as the bus driver disabled the vehicle so the attacker could not escape.

Caton and the driver soon returned to the vehicle, however, and found the assailant still hacking the young man's body into pieces.

The severed head of the victim, described as in his 20s, was then displayed to the stunned passengers.

"He went back to his seat and brought the head to the front and pretty much displayed it to us like that, and then dropped it on the ground in front of us," Caton said.

The attack took place just after 10pm outside the small town of Portage La Prairie, Manitoba. The bus originated in Edmonton, about 840 miles away from its final destination.

The Canadian mounted police took the passengers to a nearby hotel while they began an investigation.

The identities of the victim and the suspect will not be released pending the notification of family members.

Greyhound spokeswoman Abby Wambaugh offered condolences to the victim's family.

The company plans to provide the witnesses with any assistance they need, including trauma counselling and transportation.

"The incident was very tragic but was an isolated event," Wambaugh said. "Bus travel has been and remains the safest mode of travel in the country."

The attack left Canadian officials grasping for explanations. Stockwell Day, the public safety minister, said the assailant should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

"This particular incident, as horrific as it is, is obviously extremely rare," Day told the Canadian press. "Certainly the horrific nature of it is probably one-of-a-kind in Canadian history."