Fat Slapper (Joe Pesci dub)

Booker T. & The MG's - Eleanor Rigby (1968)

Embedding has been disabled on this youtube video, but seriously check the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toOTTq5ksBQ

Battle of the...well, not sexes...but this is still pretty badass.

BAttle of the Sexes Week Continues

Public Access Heckling

this doesn't exactly fit into the BOTS week theme but i stumbled across it and had to throw it up...

Religious TV Host Badly Pranked - Watch more Funny Videos

pranks: BOTS week

this dude's reaction is classic..

Battle of the Sexes Week on WASHED UP CELEBS!!!

here's the old water-and-ashes-from-the-fire prank on a bitch to get things started...

Sunbathing Chick Gets Ashed By Boyfriend - Watch more Funny Videos

This is a Man's World

Uhhhh 2

Sellin' fat.

(CNN) -- Peruvian authorities say they have arrested four members of a gang that specialized in selling fat obtained from dead humans.

Uhhhh

http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/august2009/DRK_CRNVL/juggalo_gathering_2009.htm

George Carlin

The holly grail of hockey fights

There needs to be more goalie fights in the NHL. I can't remember the last time I saw a good goalie fight.

Roy is bitch in this one. If you pay attention he strategically keeps his glove on but blocker off, so when he fights he can net Vernons head and blast him. But he does get some good shots in.

This is a fun one. I like how he proceeds to challenge the entire bench.

Notice how simple the rules use to be, "the sweaters off thats a game."

When Hockey was Pure...

DAMN I wish hockey was still like this still. Instead we having bull shit hooking calls.

My favorite part was around 0:35 when Millbury actually takes a fans shoe off him and then proceeded to beat him.....He beat a fan with his own shoe. I hope he is in the Hockey Hall of Fame. The Bruins also demonstrate how a true team plays notice how when one player went over all the Bruins went over, and start squaring up with fools. They saw their sweater go over and they were like "shit he is out number lets get those yankee fucks." While all the pussy Rangers stayed on the ice. Letting a little 10 wall of glass stand between them and the Bruins beating their fans with there own footwear. I beat they didn't even get a game suspension

Race Relations in San Francisco

this is the type of shit that happens everyday on muni..something about the bus brings it out of people.
pay special attention around 1:14 in..

Lawn mower DUI

Be sure to listen to this one with the volume all the way up there are some gems from the bitch inside.

recession blues

when the fuck are we gonna start coming out of this shit? i feel depressed..

Monkey Week Revisited

mondays

Oh yeah.

future sharks draft pick

gotta scout these little guys earlier and earlier.
(watch it multiple times to fully twist your own cap back)

hat trick baby

i hope everyone saw the game last night...

This is the dope on dope, smoke but dont choke

Video Dating Week

i havent been this excited/obsessed since monkey week

janis

im getting really into the video dating scene.

Redneck Video Dating Disaster - Watch more Funny Videos

i deserve love like everybody else

this guy must not have made the cut to be in that excellent and informative mash-up of swaggerpimpin video daters that i posted earlier this week. i wanna meet the kind of woman that responded to this (and you know at least ONE crazy bitch must've)...

EMBED-Frustrated Video Dater Loses His Cool - Watch more free videos

Dude..

perfect

shit is hot!

NEW ARTEST VIDEO!1!!1



always in the gym!

and who can forget the Stu-scursion:



He probably recorded "Workout" right there in the whip!

Heatley's first game with the sharks

Heatley's first game in San Jose tonight. He will be starting with Seto, Thornton, which sounds like a ridiculous line.

Also, individual tickets went on sale this weekend, so booz we need to pick out a game and actually get that shit together this year.

Finally, I saw this highlight yesterday. Phaneuf is a bitch (I don't know why exactly but he reminds me of Pronger(probably because he's a bitch)) but a hit like this is always good to watch, especially in a preseason game.

how do you sleep?

im not sure how i never knew about this song before, but goddamn...john lennon diss to paul mccartney.

im looking for the goddess

since ive been back on the market (thank you very much you heartless bitch) the last couple years, ive found that my pick-up skills have grown a bit rusty. i got so used to telling bitches that i had a girlfriend and then acting how ever the fuck i wanted because i knew i would go home and fuck my girl no matter who i pissed off. now i find that i have to laugh at bad jokes, listen to a wide range of dumb stories, and play all those ridiculous games in the horrible ritual of male-female interaction that we call "single life" just to have a 50% chance of awkwardly getting my dick wet. well thank god my troubles are over. now equipped with an arsenal of killer lines and embedded with the shining example of these smooth pimps in action (particularly the OG at 2:06), i feel ready to take on the field. the drought is over and its time to put some juice in this arid desert of a sex life ive been suffering through. life is a playground and i want somebody to play with. bring on the sluts (no fatties).

Relationship Survival Guide: Pick Up Lines - Watch more Funny Videos

home sweet home

Happy Masturbation Day

Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate

soccer ball prank

yo so these kid in some poor ass place play this trick...thinking it is funny, that little kids will kick the shit out of an unknown soccer ball...lord knows poor kids love soccer (probably because they cant afford hockey) and BHAM cement soccer ball..bitch you have been played

fuckin kids

I don't think I have ever been this excited...for anything.

dude

chameleon

courtesy of CANE LOCSTA...

Two legs son

Drinking out of Cups

the original rumor surrounding this audio is that it was this dude trippin on acid and being recorded, then they put animation to it..but i guess the guy denied it or something and said it was just him recording himself reacting to the television..who knows? pretty funny though...

tha kid julious

if you completely ignore this dudes rapping, which is terrible, you'll notice that homie KILLS it with the table percussion..

Sick Pencil Drumming Rap Skills - Watch more Funny Videos

Tom Waits - Glitter and Doom concert

The solos on 'hoist that rag' starting at around 1:26:45 are ridiculous...

Cat Massage

okay, what the fuck is all this about?

Bill Murray is Dope

This shit is from coffee & cigarettes, its kind of long but Bill Murray is a G...and I don't know about what RZA is sayin.

..music is the same as medicine...say word?

In other developing news...

Yo so boozin...I was checkin out that Heatley talk...and looks like there might be some other developing news...but shit a press conferences at a bar and grill. I know hockey doesn't pull the numbers football does but damn...one of the greatest American born hockey players.

(and thats bull shit you are limited on how many tag words you can use...too many gems in the show all.)

yo sparkley

did you see the rumors that the sharks might be getting Dany Heatley? playoff experienced, powerful scoring, no-bullshit-taking Heatley, a Shark? im down. what do you think?

Muni Crash

this shit just happened in the city, injuring 34 lucky people who will collect bank from muni, further thrusting the flailing agency into their deepening hole of debt and probably resulting in fee hikes (again) for the rest of us poor, public transit saps still filing into these urine soaked machines everyday as they arrive less and less frequently..fuck muni

Subway Crash - Watch more Funny Videos

MJ TRIBUTE

this shit is dope

spare the rod, spoil the child

fuck all the liberal new age pussy parents nowadays afraid to put their hands on their child because they believe in "words" and "nonviolence" or whatever the fuck. if i ever end up with a youngin (god forbid), im going to beat the respect into him, like someone should have done a long time ago for lil krispy kreme here..play him off, keyboard cat.

christopher walken impression

nailed.

i think im gonna start getting into female cycling

Worst Female Cycling Start Ever - Watch more Funny Videos

guns

Gun Recoil Knockout - Watch more Funny Videos

since 84

and thats a ballin bus.

Say say say

Saw this the other day...pretty funny




I think the best part is 2:20

R.I.P MICHAEL JACKSON

as screwed up as he became/we made him, michael jackson was a brilliant guy..as Dave Chappelle put it, the man made thriller..THRILLER..rest in peace michael..August 29, 1958-June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson - Thriller sélectionné dans Musique et Clips

Butter on the floor

Im on a boat motha fucka

michael jackson

hes a freak, but holy shit he can dance...

BLLLAAAAHHH

I remember...

Before....



After...

what the fuck

remember when cage was like this?

then something happened, and all the sudden he was like this:

embarrassing...i still listen to movies for the blind and get sad...

i hate L.A

this bitch is pretty funny..

dracula

WUC club banger of the week

game recognize game, this shit is dope...aguas de marco by elis regina and tom jobim..holla!

100% my fault

So I was watchin Charles on TV the other day and next thing I know I found these..

I particularly like the last comments from the reporter.



Once, again 100% my fault. I also like how he almost say my bet around 2:56...and why cant he change his prediction.



Just because I can loose money doesn't mean I should do it...

tomahawk

Patton is King

this hurts this hurts

perhaps even brighter

just to lighten the mood a bit...

money talks

yeah so I don't know if this is a game show or what but this fool gets destroyed...I don't know if he wins or not.

WUC badass motherfucker of the week: Aron Ralston

remember this guy? goddam!

Sports Bloopers

B.O.B

this song is hot..


...and i also discovered a parody this guy did of lil wayne and t-pain..

Remember how sick this movie is?

michael keaton is the shit..(also, he was and still is the best Batman; fuck that fag christian bale)

tenacious

D

5-0

found on lords of apathy

auto tuning the news..

taken from lords of apathy, thank you...

Today

YO...

..Tom Green can rap. hella.

In case anyone was wondering...

this is whats hot in The City..

"got an S on my chest but i dont save hoes"

Its Ok...

peep out big boi with the yellow sweatsuit...ballin..

ducks die together

this is what i hope to see on sunday..

more tats

this seems excessive..


whoa..


awesome...

INK

ive been looking for any mindless activity to keep my mind off how fucking pathetic our hockey team is after seeing an entire game played "sans balls" in san jose thursday night..i found myself wishing id been born in detroit..
so anyway, the moral of the story is this: check out some of these ballin ass tattoos...

im sewing tigers on my shirt, and alligators, you wanna see the inside, ill see you later..

a dolphin gettin high, ok..

this one appears to be a portrait of chewbacca, ON chewbacca (note his rich brown coat surrounding the shaved area...

i think this one speaks for itself...


anyone else got any?

GO SHARKS!

playoffs tonight baby, fuck the ducks..

cube

"no vaseline" diss on N.W.A..so ill


sidenote: he's rockin his own shirt...a wonderful tradition amongst many of my favorite rappers

New Footage of Navy Seals Rescue

its kind of a reenactment of the whole process, from preparation to execution..

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

im sure you have seen this on the news already, but this shit is fucking ill...when i saw this on cnn i felt like putting on ac/dc at high volume and running out into the street to fire off a few rounds with the mossberg...the somalians was like, "hell yea, we got this whole thing on lock, baby, now we just kick back and wait for the scrill...that shipping company ransom money..", but then obama got the call and was like, "fuck pirates, i bury those cockroaches..peel they caps back, son", and then three bad ass fucking navy seals parachuted in, set up shop, and twisted three pirate dome pieces like it twadn't nothin..,Amurrica muthafucka..



Ironic Sidenote: the ship was carrying humanitarian aid for poor somalians. BAM!

online dating

stolen from failblog.org...

see more pwn and owned pictures

Closing out NEWS WEEK

its late and im over it..here is your last installment of news week. goodnight, and good luck..

fuck the police

this is hella funnnny

see more pwn and owned pictures

its 3am..

...and i might be a little fucked up. check this out..

excessive celebration?

or just the right amount...

double whammy

perfect.

cheap furniture

check out failblog.org ...they've got the videos-of-people-eating-shit game on lock...i tip my hat..

Smelcome

ouch.

News Mania!!!

here's a wonderful compilation that include some old favorites and some new gems...



sidenote: my favorite one is at 39 seconds in..

BURNED

"you wre, but are no longer..how did that happen?"

Reporter gets high

Take a walk with me

Curb Job

best weatherman ever

this guy rivals that rv salesman trying to recite the lines for his commercial..i think he might even be better.


sidenote: my favorite part is at 51 seconds in.. "do me a weather? FUCK!"

SIDENOTE POST

this is how those anchors SHOULD be laughing...

OH OH OH OH OH OH OOOOH I CANT BREATHE, I CANT BREATH

c'mon, what would NEWS WEEK be without this old gem?


sidenote: the man and the woman at the end of this clip (the "studio gangstas" in the safety of their set) are a perfect example of the awkward fake concern that i mentioned before.

Stoned Fireman

unexpected job benefits. no reporter in this one, but still funny...


sidenote: i would have inhaled too

More News

Next we have this lovely clip from channel 7 (the most trusted name in news), of one of their reporters getting shit in his mouth.


sidenote: pay close attention to the guy who runs over with the cup of water..from the looks of him, he gets shit on everyday, so i bet he was having a little party in his head..same with the sound guy.

ITS NEWS WEEK ON WASHED UP CELEBS

Thats right, im back in this bitch and i finna get on my grind about it. in honor of awkward field reporters everywhere, risking their bodies and dignity on live television to bring us those important stories about our local areas, i am declaring it NEWS WEEK here at WUC. this week we will bring you some of the most intense moments ever witnessed, raw and unfiltered, so YOU can get the REAL STORY...this is... NEWS WEEK!

First up, check this blond broad eat shit on a skateboard trying to "connect" with the xgames culture..extreme!


sidenote: i think my favorite part about these clips is the reaction of the anchors in the studio. they always attempt to carefully mix a tone of concern with a touch of laugh-it-off humor, making it even more awkward for everybody (also making them sound like a douche bag)

YO!

Yo so its been a stale as shit around here..and it seems like Boozin is the only other one on here...so Boozin peep game at these fools



Fuck the stars but this is kinda funny..



And as far as I can tell I believe this is all the same game....and whaattaa a game it must have been

cube

I guess he's good

....I know he doesn't play for the Sharks...but this is a ballin goal....notice how he hits the upper corner from sliding on his back

Monkey Week Revisited

due to this ridiculous story in the news recently ive decided to bring back monkey week for another round. apparently this chimpanzee, perhaps tired of being put in diapers and paraded through town, or maybe disillusioned by the fake hollywood lifestyle of cheap commercial spots and cocaine parties, finally lost it. travis the chimp slapped the shit out of his owner, tore her friends face off, and went out suicide by cop style after being stabbed with a butcher knife..jesus.


and here is the 911 call...

clowe's first NHL fight

Royal Flush

Big Boi, Andre 3000, and Reakwon

OUTKAST player's ball

Outkast - Player's Ball (Official Music Video) - Watch a funny movie here

there will be bud

i think this is hella funny.

Bob Pillow

"never smoke in your bed." -the tour guide guy

No fuckin way

watch all the way to the end...

..and boom goes the dynamite.

ummmmm?

the front page of the press democrat goes a little something like this.

1. Nationwide job cuts. North Bay Home Depots closing

2. Global warming is worse than scientists had feared. It'll take roughly 1000 years to restore pre-industrial carbon monoxide levels. Drought, sea level rising, etc. etc.

3. A water shortage that is going to require strict conservation due to lack of rainfall. No more washing your car at home. A set number of loads of laundry per person and set shower times.

4. Octuplets are born in L.A. kicking and screaming. Two of the babies are 1 lb and will require unnatural measures to keep them alive. The babies were delivered through a c-section.

does anyone else notice something wrong here? How about we knock three of the motherfuckers off and round it down to a manageable 5. fucking octuplets. where do you get off having 8 kids at once. or at all for that matter.

CHARLIE GREEN

anybody see him? baiton, hit me on your asian girls phone when you get a chance homie..just checkin to see if youre alive.
have you seen CHARLIE GREEN aka CANE LOCSTA (WHERE THE BUD AT FOOL?) aka L.O.C aka MATT BAITON aka THE HIGHWAY SLEEPER aka 211STEELRESERVE ????
here is the last known photograph of Sir Charles in the files..



and here is an artist rendering of what he may look like now..




if you have any information please send word to our POST OFFICE in san francisco. thank you.

-the WASHED UP CELEBS family

more wingsuits

this is what i expected to see during the first video...


"NO! NO!" haha

HOLY SHIT

crazy norwegians

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Cats VS Themselves

a link from the cat v ceiling fan video led me to this montage..i laughed so hard i almost hacked up a lung..peep game

Cat Vs. Ceiling fan

May have received a fatal blow to the head there.

curiosity killed the cat.

Racoon Vs. Fire/ Hunger Vs. Common Sense

certain tendencies cross all genetic lines apparently.

Dumb animals
"he's burning in there." -witness

mo death

not sure how another brick in the wall fits in....but that zebra got some shit going on with its skin

ANIMAL DEATHMATCH WEEK CONTINUES!! COBRA VS....a baby?

it seems like a bit of a mismatch, but the baby does alright, stickin and movin, workin the ribs...

notice how right near the end the cobra looks at the camera like, "are you serious? you want me to keep biting this baby? i mean, this is pretty irresponsible, i recognize that, but im a fucking cobra. if that little bastard goes for my tail again im releasing the venom. he'll be dead in an hour. i dont want to release the venom, but you just keep pushing me and pushing me..."

COCKFIGHT!!!

what would animal deathmatch week be without a decent cockfight somewhere in the mix?

(kinda long and drawn out, but those stare downs are hilarious)

Lion vs Hippo

Well neither wins but its a nail biter

POLAR BEAR VS WALRUS

..its gonna be a blood bath (spoiler alert: Pbear wins)

ANIMAL DEATHMATCH WEEK

Okay...shit has gotten a little stale around here, and in light of the new year i feel like we need to step up our game. so...heres some animal attacks...it is officially "animal deathmatch week" on Washed Up Celebs..enjoy

trigger happy BART police

fuck this cop...

oh you thought yous wasnt going to seee mee